Happy and Gay

Televiewers got a shock on March 1, 2006 as they watch the famous Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition. Rustom Padilla, a former matinee idol, revealed his being a “gay”. And so, it was the talk of the town; it was expected that in the coming days many more would come out in the open whether celebrities or ordinary citizens in our communities.

Homosexuality is a complicated thing. It’s something we don’t normally talk about in our conversation with our friends.

Men usually describe themselves as ‘gays’, when they find that they are physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to other men. Maybe it is common for men to have gay experiences and feelings as part of exploring their sexuality. However, for men who go on to identify as gays, there is a strong physical and emotional attraction to men that they don’t usually feel for women. This may cause feelings of isolation for young men because they feel a lot of pressure to be heterosexual, or ‘straight’. Some people in society do not approve o homosexuality, and this may make people scared to show their sexuality.

There is no real explanation why some men are gays and some are not. It may be a result of genetic influences or because of social experiences or an interaction of the two. Some people recognize their attractions at an early age while others don’t develop attractions until well into adulthood. For most young people however they begin to develop gay feelings and attractions during teenage years. The main thing to remember is that being gay is not a disease to be ‘cured’ or ‘fixed’. It is part of the broad spectrum of human sexuality.

Being in a society like ours, gays are mocked, rejected, and misunderstood most of the time. Some people reserve the loudest, foulest, vilest condemnation for homosexuals. They grow up in a society that condemns and devalues their identity. Experiences of isolation and the emotional pain of alienation, hopelessness, and despair contribute to lowered self-esteem, identity conflicts, and adverse coping behaviors.

We have no right to judge gays. As Christians let us acknowledge that they also are children of God. Jesus died for them and the Bible doesn’t say, “love one another except gays”. Like them, we also commit sins. Christians who struggle with their homosexual desires can serve God. Many have done it­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­—serving the Lord in various ways. After all, holiness is a journey and we all struggle towards holiness. Dealing with homosexual orientation may be a difficult for some but let us always remember that God has the power to heal and transform lives. Disagree with their choice if you will, but keep in mind that people are human beings regardless of their sexual orientation. How we treat each other goes a long way in demonstrating our own humanity, or lack of it.

“The human personality is therefore endowed sexually and psychologically with a freedom from strict sexual orientation. This has contributed to the survival of the species by not separating any of it’s mental or psychological abilities into two opposite camps.”

Shattered Pieces

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and Sophia Gomez spent it pacing back and forth in the living room of their house.

She seemed so lost in thought, her red lips pursed and her brows furrowed in concentration. Suddenly, she stopped pacing and her brown eyes lit it up at the sight of her mother’s face peeking from the front door.

“Where have you been?” Sophia exclaimed as she rushed towards her somewhat astonished mom.

Her mom looked at her as if she was a cockroach as something, and finally said, “What are you talking about?”

The two went back to the living room and sat on the green sofa. Sophia raised an eyebrow, saying “Come on, mom, as I clearly remember, you have been out since last Monday from dawn until dusk and now you come finally, asking what the matter was with me. Now, come on. What have you been up to?”

Mrs. Gomez sighed, “Sophia, you’re being paranoid. It’s nothing really.”

“Come on, mom, we know you’re not good at lying”

“Okay. It’s um, it’s -you’re sure you want to know?

“Mom. . .”

“Okay, okay. It’s nothing really. I just think you might as well prepare because you’re soon to be married.”

“What!”

Mrs. Dawson let out another sigh, an then looked outside the window. “Yes, Emily dear, and his name’s Spike.”

“Did you say Spike? Who on the earth is that? Oh mom, I don’t think I can forgive you for not asking my permission for this sudden marriage but. . .”

“What Sophia Gomez?”

“Oh well, HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO MARRY A PERSON NAMED SPIKE??? Who’s he? A drug addict or an ex-convict? Can’t you choose someone more properly named than that?

“Sophia Gomez! How could you judge a person like that? In answer to your earlier question, he’s the son of my best friend.”

Sophia decided to keep quite. She knew well enough that once her mother thought she has nailed an important point; there’s no pointing arguing. Any feedback is useless and reactions are so not welcome. ‘But how could she expect me to marry this Spike person? Besides, I’m only sixteen…’ She thought angrily but silently.

Mrs. Gomez continued to be out for the next several days, planning the marriage with her best friend, Spike’s mother, Mrs. Zamora.

Meanwhile, Sophia went to school with that almost permanent distraught look on her lovely face. One time when she was hurrying towards her next class, a student tapped her on her shoulder. She whirled almost furiously, ready to lash out because she was already running late. But when she got a clear view of the offender, the harsh words seem to vanish.

“I’m sorry Sophia, but I think you dropped your handkerchief. Here it is,” said the good-looking stranger.

Sophia took her handkerchief from him and wondered aloud, “How on earth did you know my name?”

The stranger shrugged casually and said, “Nothing, I just know who you are.”

Sophia smiled faintly, whispered her thanks and finally asked his name.

“I’m Angelo Zamora.”

Suddenly, they both turned when there was a yell the southern end of the corridor. “Hey Spike over here!”

Angelo turned back to Sophia and shrugged again, “Oops, that’s me. Sorry, I’ve got to go,”

Sophia, in her temporary state of silence, realized at once who that person was and why her mother was so excited for this marriage. Why, has chosen a Greek God of her husband and nothing would have drastically change.

Sophia found herself spending almost all of her time with Angelo (Spike). They learned all the basic details, such as they were of the same age, went to the same high school and that their mothers were friend ever since they were young. Eventually, she discovered that Angelo had known her even before and had liked her during that time. Sophia appeared confused, thinking that Angelo didn’t like her anymore now. He smiled and said “Of course, I don’t like you anymore…I love you now…” It’s not surprising to know that Sophia feels exactly the same way with him.

One day, Trevor asked her favor, “Will you marry me?”

“No, I mean, suppose none of these things happened. Suppose our mothers haven’t known each other and I ask you the same question, what would you say?”

Sophia looked thoughtful, and then looked straight into his eyes. “I’ll say I will. Remember this; no one’s going to take your place, Angelo, even after death,”

Even after death,” Angelo repeated. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a long time. It seems that Cupid matched another perfect couple again.

Years passed and now their marriage was already fast approaching. Sophia Gomez, now twenty-two, sat beside the window, blissfully reminiscing all the wonderful moments she had spent with Angelo. She was so happy, felt so lucky God paired her with a person like Spike. Actually, she’s just waiting for Angelo’s visit her home. While she didn’t have any doubts, it seemed a little odd that he didn’t arrive on time, normally 5 in the afternoon. It was already past seven.

Suddenly, their mother came rushing into the room. They seemed pale and exhausted. Only Mrs. Gomez found her voice and tearfully announced the news. “The wedding is to be cancelled.”

Sophia’s eyes went large and asked, “Why?” What happened?”

Now, Mrs. Zamora spoke, “My son-my son is dead”

Sophia fainted.

The reason of Angelo’s death was murder and robbery. Several months after, the criminal voluntarily went to the authorities and surrender. He claimed that his conscience never left him at peace. Before he entered his prison cell, he said, “that young man I killed months ago made it impossible for me to live a quite life to give.”

He said that Angelo died because he didn’t give him the engagement ring he just bought for Sophia. He died holding it firmly in his hands. Eventually, he revealed Angelo’s last words. “I’ll love you forever my Sophia.”